When coffee is not about coffee anymore
“Shall we bring Travis along for coffee?”
Nope. I don’t want to look after him when I have coffee. I need to be child-free, to be with myself, I need this space to nurture myself.
And then, I realised, oh, coffee is not about coffee anymore.
It’s interesting how my relationship with coffee evolves over time. In my early twenties, I thought I love coffee so much that I ditched a corporate career to join a startup coffee company, and started a business in the coffee industry later. When I realised that I love connecting with people instead of coffee itself, I moved on without looking back.
Along the journey of discovering my authentic voice as a writer, I spent countless hours in cafes, taking sips, watching people, enjoying the aroma, immersing myself in the cafe vibe, and letting my mind flow while I articulated my internal world in words.
When kids came along, visiting cafes on the weekends became my refuge from the round-the-clock ‘work’ of childcare, a little pocket of freedom that is so crucial to balance the equation between self and devotion. It gives me space to feel like a normal person doing normal things and not having to worry about anything else. As part of the ritual, I only venture to cafes within 15 minutes drive from where I live, because who needs newness when I just want consistency and peace?
It struck me how having coffee without kids, something that was once so basic and accessible has become a luxury, something to look forward to. Along with that, creation, too, has become a luxury.
I love how a new space awakens the dormant part of myself — my mind flows, my being expansive, feeling tingling excitement about the possibilities of making things.
And yet, when I get back home, I can’t help but switch into ‘mum’ mode instantly. This is not a complaint, though, I am fully aware that being a full-time mother is a conscious choice I would make over and over again.
I’m just glad that when I was younger, I’d spent my freedom on meaningful pursuits, trying different things to figure out who I am and what are my most important life values.
Maybe, it is too much of a burden for coffee to become my ‘refuge’. I’ve had coffee in moments of triumph and at the rock bottom of life. I’ve had coffee overlooking the magnificent Himalayan mountains and I’ve had coffee sitting on a plastic stool on the roadside.
Maybe, coffee has never been just coffee. It is an invisible friend, a loyal companion who is always there, always holding space for me, wherever I am in life. It is only natural for coffee to play different roles and mean different things to me as I unfold new chapters of my life.
Regardless of where I am and what I do, the magic of coffee will never change for me. It is always the moment when I take the first sip and go ‘ahh….’.
Life is good. I’m good. Everything is good.
