A year ago, while reading Glennon Doyle’s ‘Untamed’, I remembered pausing at a quote that says ’it’s a heavy burden for children to know that they are the reason their mother stops living her life’.
It sounded cruel and yet true. As an expecting mother at that time, I took the warning to heart.
Fast forward to the present, 4.5 months into motherhood, I couldn’t help letting out a long breath of relief as I revisit the journey I’ve stumbled through thus far.
There were many times I asked myself — especially in exhaustion, “am I living my life?” Being…
I arrived at 30 at a peculiar juncture of time: global pandemic, nationwide lockdown, being pregnant and confined at home for over 6 weeks.
On my 30th birthday, I woke up in an ordinary morning and carried out my ordinary routine of sun salutation sequence followed by meditation.
There was a little thing that I did differently in that beautiful morning — I sent love and gratitude to my parents, first and foremost, in the Metta meditation.
Now that I am becoming a parent, the thought of my parents filled me with so much love that it brought tears to…
It is an interesting time to be a witness of history, to observe how a virus outbreak that happened thousands of miles away erupted into a global pandemic, and to feel the weight of shock when it burned my neighbourhood.
From reading news on the sideline, suddenly, I became an active participant in the arena of a pandemic when the Movement Restriction Control Order (MCO) was enforced in Malaysia to ‘flatten the curve’.
When I came across the question ‘how do you define living a good life’ in a popular online course ‘The Science of Wellbeing’, I paused and sank…
When I first discovered that I was pregnant, I was worried about my mental health.
After going through what felt like a tremendous transition in life from marriage to adjusting to new family life to setting up our new home in a new part of the city — there were a lot of emotional fluctuations and adjustments that didn’t feel easy.
As the early pregnancy symptoms unfolded and took hold of my life, I went through another cycle of breakdowns, self-doubt, acceptance, and finally arrived at a precious gift given by life — self-compassion.
It seemed as though ever since…
Have you ever imagined how it feels to find out that you (or your partner) are pregnant?
I thought it is the most beautiful thing in the world — until it caught me off guard.
When I was holding the pregnancy test kit that turned positive in seconds instead of 5 minutes I thought I had, a massive weight piled on me instantly.
I didn't know what to think or feel.
After a recent conversation with my husband about having a baby next year (according to Feng Shui lol) and the immense mental health pressure I felt in the transition…
In the past 3 months, I’ve written more than ever even though I haven’t put anything out in public. While I feel like an imposter as a writer, somehow, I knew that I wasn’t in the right place to create anything meaningful.
In the midst of a transition of lifestyle, identity and priority, everything inside me was in chaos.
At the heightened state of anxiety and ‘lostness’, I ventured into Morning Pages and began a surprising journey getting out of my head.
Morning Pages is an exercise created by Julia Cameron in ‘The Artist’s Way’. It requires you to write…
I recently encountered a distressed fresh graduate who wanted to pursue something entirely different from her college degree but she wasn’t sure if that’s her purpose.
At that time of our encounter, while I was navigating my post-wedding ‘lostness’, I saw younger myself in her anxiety.
I wanted to tell her to do whatever she wants because it is not going to define the rest of her life!
I wondered why a young graduate expected herself to have a purpose, and why the heck does purpose matter anyway?
Does a purpose really set me up for life, make me…
This is so frustrating.
Coming back from honeymoon, my life dissolved into a puzzle that I had to piece together.
Getting married is not just ticking off a yearlong (or half-year, in my case) to-do list and ended with a massive glamorous endeavour.
What nobody talked about, and what I didn’t foresee, are the adjusting, redefining, and recalibration that followed a fairy-tale ending — which, in fact, is more like a brand-new beginning of a very, very long journey.
Who am I? What should I do with my life now? What is important to me? How can I be…
The older I get, the more I understand that I am a creator, the more I am at peace with who I am.
This understanding is of utmost importance because it liberated me to create whatever I want to, without feeling the need to fulfil a certain image.
Whenever I look back, I was always appalled and amazed by how life happened to me, for me, step by step, turn by turn, to reach where I am today, appreciative of all my cracks.
When I was struggling in an existential crisis at 26, I came across a piece…
In Septemeber 2018, I left my first Vipassana meditation course with a glorious feeling of accomplishing 100 hours of cross-legged meditation, reaching a state where I felt my body dissolved into a mass of energy.
In the span of a year, from the ‘gungho-ness’ to wake up and meditate at 5 am daily, my dedication to the practice dwindled gradually, consuming more Netflix shows and spending more time on social media.
When a drastic shift in life awaits me at the brink of marriage, I felt the need to spend time away from the expectations and uncertainties, to reacquaint myself…